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90210 – Recap & Review – To New Beginnings!

photo: cw
photo: cw

90210
To New Beginnings!

Original Air Date: Sept 8, 2009

Meg – TwoCents Reviewer
meg@thetwocentscorp.com

Welcome back to another season of backstabbing, bikinis, adolescent mayhem, sexual frustration, and lusty high schoolers who take their lives way, way too seriously! In this season opener, Naomi tries to nurse her broken heart by pursuing anything with a pulse and Dixon dumps Silver thanks to meddlesome new character, Teddy. Oh, and Annie learns she killed a guy.

Last Season
Before delving into this season, let’s take a quick look back at where we left off. In short: devious queen bee Naomi got together with bad boy Liam—who then made the ace move of screwing her sister. Naomi caught him post flagrante delicto and based on the fact that her on-and-off nemesis Annie’s wrap was in the vicinity of her half-naked love interest, concluded that Annie stole her man. Golden boy Ethan developed an 11th hour crush on Dixon’s main squeeze, Silver, leading to kisses, fisticuffs, and the end (presumably) of Sixon. At the prom after-party, Naomi confronted Annie for allegedly bedding Liam. Annie dealt with this by crying (understandable), calling the cops on the party (less understandable), drinking and driving (incomprehensible), and then possibly killing a guy in a hit and run (wtf?! – what the hell is wrong with you, Annie?).

THIS Season
We open on what is obviously a dream sequence with Naomi and a mystery man frolicking on the beach. I can’t help but notice that mystery man is grossly old. Regardless, Naomi must like ‘em that way, because she and her geriatric Romeo laugh and frolic away until she is jolted from her daydreaming (called it!) by a school bell, heralding the end of summer school.

Annie’s vengeful 911 call last season ratting out Naomi’s party seems to have condemned the entire class (minus Annie, the narc) to summer school. Newly freed, the kids swarm the halls and flee en masse. Naomi gets caught up in the sweet intoxicating liberty and ditches her shirt—is that a bit much? I mean, I love summer too, but not enough to show the goods to everyone and their grandma.

Catching up with the Girls
Everyone high-tails it to the West Beverly Country Club. I cringe instinctively at the poolside sight of Elisabeth Rohm (she of the most ridiculous Law & Order exit ever). Silver is wearing some sort of patchwork plaid nightmare that clearly lost a fight with a pair of angry, deranged scissors. The girls sun themselves and chat, and we learn that:

1. Adrianna doesn’t want to act anymore, having christened herself “No Drama Adrianna” (let’s hope she doesn’t switch to poetry). She has also decided to put off having sex with Navid until she feels ready.
2. Silver has been texting Ethan (who moved to Montana/got booted from the show) and doesn’t know if she wants him or Dixon.

Naomi starts talking trash about Annie and, as only a vengeful high school girl can, says that Annie needs to be punished. Judging from Annie’s hair and makeup this entire episode, I’d say the show’s style coordinators feel the same way.

Naomi mocks her friends for wasting their efforts on high school boys and talks about Jason (her Humbert Humbert’s actual name) and his “meaty man hands” (ew). As if on cue, Mr. Meaty Man Hands himself saunters on the scene and cozies up to his (shock!) wife, the Rohmshrew.

Naomi confronts him later and he confesses to being “technically married” (oh yeah, he’s a keeper), but says he believes that he and Naomi are “bigger than labels.” (I disagree—I think the label of jerkwad applies rather nicely). Naomi declares that she is not a cheating skank and drops him (go Naomi!).

Later, she works out her anger by flirting with a cute tennis player and engaging in some ridiculous back and forth about ball-handling (again, ew) before Tennis Guy reveals that he is about to start school at West Beverly. Tennis Guy says he just transferred from Exeter (yeah right, if 90210 the original taught us anything it is that nobody just shows up at West Bev. I smell a backstory). Adrianna shows up and it turns out that Tennis Guy is Teddy Montgomery, her old boyfriend from summer camp.

Catching Up with the Boys
Navid tells Dixon that he is positive that Adrianna wants to have sex with him. Dixon asks if he’s certain Adrianna’s ready. Navid then rambles and makes the leaps in logic and interpretations as only an oversexed high school boy can (ie. “She offered me a bowl of Chex. Chex rhymes with sex, ergo….I’m getting laid!”). Dixon helps Navid steal a cabana key and set up the room with all the necessities: champagne, rose petals, and (most importantly) a “Sex Jams” CD. Navid claims that this night “will go down in history.” Yikes, someone has some lofty expectations.

Catching up with the Wilsons
Annie mopes. No, really – that’s pretty much her entire plot line this episode. Annie has spent the entire summer feeling sorry for herself and monitoring news articles on her hit and run victim. Maybe I’m supposed to feel sorry for her too, but erm… Annie? You hit a guy with your car and drove away. If you want to stop feeling guilty, turn yourself in!

When Annie learns that her hit and run victim has died, she runs to Dixon and it looks as if she is going to fess up. He thinks she’s about to cop to sleeping with Liam and instead of correcting him, Annie gets miffed and they fight. Dixon is mad that Annie never apologized for condemning him to summer school.

The Party
At a party at the country club, Naomi hunts the crowd for options, claiming that she wants to find a “fresh side of beef among the man meat.” I think she needs to stop using butcher metaphors lest we get into awkward tenderloin territory…

Everybody “dances” in one of those moments where everyone just instinctively happens to know the same dance moves. Chest-puffing, cat claws, and hopping ensues.

Dixon and Silver finally talk and decide to get back together. However, later in the night, Silver gets a text from Ethan confirming that he’s not coming back to West Bev and telling her that he hates leaving her and can’t stop thinking about their kiss. Obnoxiously, Teddy—who seems a bit taken with Silver’s “silver” tongue—sees the text and spills the beans to Dixon, who then breaks up with Silver for good. Navid is massively insecure when he meets Teddy and finds out from Naomi that Ade lost her virginity to him.

Annie mopes and gets hit on by creepy guy Mark who consoles her with a flask and whisks her away for some drunken hooking up in Navid’s unused sex cabana.

The Romshrew busts up the party demanding to know who defiled her cabana with a Sex Jams CD. Just as mortified Navid is about to come clean, Teddy surprisingly steps up and takes the fall, using his famous father’s name to smooth things over.

Back to School
The next day, Silver announces her determination to get Dixon back, while Dixon claims that she’s dead to him. Liam shows up and broods when Naomi refuses to talk to him. Mark blows Annie off and then reveals to his friends that he took naked pictures of Annie during their hookup. Unfortunately, Naomi overhears this, grabs the phone, and texts herself the Annie photos.

Overall, I liked the premiere – the dialogue seems a bit snappier than last season. I like how Silver, Naomi, and Ade have formed a nice friendship (even if Silver was their mortal enemy last season….) and take turns supporting each other. So those are my $0.02. What are your thoughts? What do you think of Teddy? Do you think Dixon and Silver should have broken up? What do you hope will happen this year?

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